the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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