I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
