super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
