Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
