we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
PS: I just woke up from my shower
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
