Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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