i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
