I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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