I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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