i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
