She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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