I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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