He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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