do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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