What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
