I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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