drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
