Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
