my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Still dying that you shit outside
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
