nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
