8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
