Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
