actually, I'm a sock model
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
