Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
