she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
