What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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