...so i touched it.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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