if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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