I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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