I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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