Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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