You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Randomize
