were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
