i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
