the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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