i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She said her name was "party"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
