Please, let me fuck your mom
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
