so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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