also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
