I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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