So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
