I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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