Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
