youre lurking in front of me
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
