I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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