I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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