But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
