i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
