The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
