That's intense
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
