i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
