Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
