hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
