Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
