Im at strip club and am horny
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
