seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
